The Problem with Starting Over

I’m in a place right now where I am slowly building a new network of friends, a new image for myself, and a new list of what is important to me and how I should go about making sure those things happen. And I do think that’s really cool. But, it is a little strange. Like, this past summer, I had at least one grad party to go to almost every weekend, and near the end of my time in Wisconsin, it was even more than that. I got kind of spoiled with the idea of spending lots of time with friends all the time, constantly going out and going to museums or restaurants or just hanging out. And then I came here.

Don’t get me wrong, I do actually have a decently sized group of close friends here. Because everything is so compressed, like the friend-making process itself, I’ve gotten really close with my roommates and the girls on my floor and even some guys upstairs. I hang out with them a lot. But then there comes weekends like this one where they all have places to go and people to hang out with because they are only making additions to the friends they already have, not substitutions. I spend a lot of time by myself right now. And it’s not because the people around me just ditch me or anything… a lot of times they just have things like work or family or friend obligations to take care of. I totally understand that. It’s just that right now I’m unemployed, I don’t have a ton of homework, and I don’t really have a ton of friends outside of my apartment. So even though I know I’m not as important to them, like I’m very aware that I’m not the center of their world or obligations, they’re kind of the center of mine, and I’m not really certain how to deal with that.

-k