Monday, March 14, 2016

God Call

I was applying for a leadership position at my college, and I had to explain where this kind of leadership follows God's calling for my life, and it was weird how blunt I was in black and white, but I also liked it, so I'm saving it here. 

I have been through a lot in my life. In many instances, people have come to me while going through a hardship in their lives, and I am able to help them with ways that will make life less painful, since I probably have already gone through it. God has given me a lot of experience in a lot of nasty things throughout my life. In total, and not all at once, I have lost both grandmothers, my father, my mother, my stepfather, and my brother. I suffer from a recent discovery of scars from emotional abuse, which manifests itself in the trial that is PTSD-related anxiety. I have experienced domestic abuse, poverty, near-homelessness, and deep, tearing loneliness. Yet, through it all, God has supported me. Essentially, he has pushed me to the brink of many awful situations, enough to taste a lot of very bitter wines but not drown in them. So I guess I would consider my calling to direct others towards God in the trial, to be a person who has already gone through a situation and has learned that through it all, God is powerful, and all knowing, and all providing, and incredibly, inexplicably loving. I'm not exactly sure where God is leading me, and I've kind of had to stop trying to plan out my life for fear of God putting me through a trial to humble me enough to submit to his plan. But, I believe that to help someone find that wonder that took me so many years and tears to work through, and to help people discover ways for life to not hurt so badly would be a very noble calling.

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