Monday, December 7, 2015

An Awkward Story

Just because life is stressful right now and I need a laugh, so I'm assuming you need one as well, and some of my recent stuff has been kind of serious, today I am going to tell you the story about the most beautiful guy ever, and how I drove him away.

The beautiful guy on the far left is Caleb Heinritz. He is the guy. Yeah. I know.

I had been going to this pretty big youth group that encompassed pretty much all of Waukesha County for a few months, on and off, but fairly consistently. He was a senior youth. He was beautiful. He had a deep personal relationship with God. He was athletic and smart and he had the CUTEST hair that had ever existed (it was different back then.. not so flynn rider-ish. he was cute then, he's drop dead gorgeous now). All the girls were totally into him, and I'm like, wow, I would never have any chance with him. He's so incredibly hot. So I never really tried to talk to him or flirt or anything, both because at that time (and still currently), I had no flirting skills whatsoever. 

And then, at our youth group Christmas Party, everything changed. I was looking dang fine, for once, and we all got together and mixed up and talked. At one point, I sneezed into my shoulder, discreetly, like a lady, and then kept going on my way. We all partnered up, and lo and behold, I was paired up with the legendary Caleb Heinritz. He was engaging. I was sugared up so I had enough energy to converse with someone so so far out of my league. It was an amazing conversation. We talked about life, and God's place in our destiny, and what our futures would be like, and our interests and hobbies, and school and people and love and laughter. He was so PRESENT in the conversation, like, I don't think he broke my eye contact unless I was being awkward and looking down myself. It was wonderful. I was smitten. And then we stopped having our little discussion time and I walked over to brag (a little... i mean, it was CALEB HEINRITZ) to my cousins who were standing around the concessions table, and I started gushing, when my cousin stopped me. "What is that on your shoulder?" she asked. I glanced down, and smeared into my shirt was the biggest wad of snot you have ever seen. It had been perched there all night, through all my discussions, and most importantly, with my conversation with Caleb Heinritz. My life was over. 

And that is the story of how I died. 

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